Chess Thoughts August 5, 2008 – Posted in: Aberrant Normalcy

I have always sucked at chess because I get too damn excited and can never think through the moves.  When I play against the easiest computer chess program it whoops my pretty little white ass because it thinks ahead two moves.  There is one particular real-life individual, in fact, who I want to smear all over the checkered squares.  But, alas, I have all but once had my king toppled by him.  This is my goal, to gloat over him in victory.

So I have been practicing.

I have been playing computer chess (and losing) and have been studying with the oral lessons that come along with it (and wondering how people can keep so many moves in their heads at once).  And I have been playing online chess (and losing more).  What the hell was I doing wrong?

Today I looked at a few standard chess openings in between visits to clients.  I know zero about chess openings.  But I realized I used the same damn opening every time, and every time my pieces get stuck in untenable positions.  I would lose because I couldn’t move, and my opponent could.  Tonight, I played online chess against a player who was rated more than 200 points above me.  I used one of the openings I learned today.  Some kind of gambit.  He fell for it.  It left his pawn structure weak.  I worked him down to two rooks and a few paws, and I had a bishop, two rooks.  At this point he offered a draw.  I took it.  Perhaps I could have mated him.  I wasn’t sure.  My end game is still weak.  But it sure felt damn good not to LOSE for a change.  Maybe I just got lucky.  Maybe I’m improving.  Time shall tell.  I will let you know.