The Body Snatchers July 23, 2007 – Posted in: Aberrant Normalcy

This morning I woke up bleary eyed and wandered into my kitchen to see my cat sitting in her usual spot by the window, watching the rain. I rubbed my eyes. No, this wasn’t my cat. This wasn’t even a cat. It was a squirrel, with a big bushy tail, soft gray fur. Just hanging out, watching the rain as my cat normally does. So I did what any self-respecting animal lover would do. I squirrel-whispered, “Don’t freak out. Just relax. I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to open the screen to let you out.”

Mr. Squirrel was having none of it. Performing acrobatic leaps I didn’t know squirrels could even consider, my furry guest bounced and flipped off the window dozens of times. Then he hopped into the bathroom to try that transparent portal with similar results. This gave me enough time to open the screen and let the fellow out. He flew outside like Superman, leaping away to rescue a maiden in distress.

I took a breath, then looked around my apartment. My cat was nowhere to be found. Early this morning my cat had crawled onto my chest to paw at my face, but I assumed she was just hungry. Perhaps she was trying to warn me that aliens had landed in the form of furry brown squirrels and were slowly replacing all the cats in the neighborhood.

I found Lucy the cat safely tucked under my bed in a cocoon of dust and old papers. So that’s how they transform! I checked her for bites and bruises, and other than a tenancy to stay in the same room with me this morning, she seems fine. I have no idea how the squirrel got inside. The only thing I can figure is that he crawled in through the tiny crack at the top of the window. Hardly impossible, especially for a body snatching alien. I’ll be watching out for them. You should be too!