It’s easy for the global warming skeptics to point their fingers at one storm and say, ‘You can’t show a trend with one incident. Storms happen, and variability is part of nature.’ And they would be correct. But you can show a trend in the frequency of extreme weather events over the last few decades, and with several hurricanes pummeling the Americas this year, combined with more rain some parts of the US have ever seen in the month of October since good record keeping began, you might want to pay attention.
And gas prices are up too, so you would think that it is common sense: Why not switch to cleaner fuels now (that is, fuels which both offer less particulate pollution and less greenhouse emissions such as CO2 and Methane) ? Hybrid technologies exist, but many Americans (though, not just) would rather drive around in their Bling Bling Hummers or their SUVs because it makes them think they have bigger balls. Seriously, we’ve been brainwashed to think that a bigger truck makes us manlier men. Chevy, Ford, and Dodge know this best, that’s why they often use symbols of large game animals, bulls and rams, or such suggestive names as “trailblazer” and “expedition” and “explorer.” And hybrid-SUVs? Mere lip service to the environmentalists. It’s like having a bacon cheesburger with a diet coke. “But we’re not eating all that sugar!”
Who gives a rat’s ass for the environment when you can have big balls? And big balls leads to more ladies and respect among your homies, because according to Cosmo, a man is defined by “the money he makes, the car he drives, and the job he has.” And women aren’t immune from this usurping of beliefs either. If they’re not convinced by the endless car commercials or the salesperson that their SUV is safer in an accident, they might at least look at their husband and believe he has bigger balls because they subcosciously associate him with the rough and rugged image of an SUV driver they’ve seen countless times on TV.
“I need it for work,” says one excuse.
“I’m tall, and I can’t fit into a small car,” says another.
“It’s safer,” says yet another.
“I’ve worked hard in my life, and I deserve a reward,” says yet one more.
Okay, but there are 500,000,000 (five hundred million) cars on the road. Read that number again:
So here’s the kicker homies with big plastic cojones:
IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT YOU.