Mercurio D. Rivera writes: Last week, I went to see Aeon Flux with a current and a former member of AlteredFluid. Not having seen the original Aeon Flux cartoon on MTV, I canâ€™t say for sure whether the new movie successfully captures its spirit. Itâ€™s doubtful, however, given the convoluted Saturday-morning-cartoon plot and overall grade-B quality of the movie, which includes downright silly ideas about clones that retain the memories of their cell-donors and an invincible army of rebel super-heroines named â€œMonicansâ€ for some unexplained reason (could they be angry interns?) who have inexplicably failed thus far to overthrow an oppressive Government. Itâ€™s the future, you see, and a virus has eliminated 99% of the planetâ€™s population.
The survivors reside in a large metropolis, parts of which resemble, well, Boston, except that folks there wear really funny costumes. The most powerful agent of the rebel underground movement, Aeon Flux (played by Oscar-winner Charlize Theron) is a super-heroine with no apparent weaknesses save for her fashion sense and strange infatuation with the Government leader sheâ€™s been ordered to assassinate. Charlize Theron does the best that she can with the woeful script, playing it straight all the way. (Hopefully, she was well compensated for this role.)
Be warned: in the future there is very bad dialogue. For example, we learn two characters are brothers when one says to the other: â€œI’ve been your brother for a long time.â€ And as the one-note leader of the Monicans poor Frances McDormand (also an Oscar winner) is relegated to standing immobile and coolly issuing orders to her agents from afar. Despite the fairly good special effects and some interesting ideas (one Monican has genetically altered herself so she that her feet are now an extra set of hands, and Aeonâ€™s arsenal includes hundreds of tiny metal spheres that answer to her whistle), you might want to skip this turkey unless you have a free rental.
Brush with the stars: After the movie, I spotted Phillip Seymour Hoffman in the menâ€™s room. I wanted to say hello, but couldnâ€™t remember his nameâ€”all I could think of was â€œCapote.â€ Plus, what is the etiquette about greeting celebrities in bathrooms anyway? Especially if theyâ€™re at the urinal next to you. I need some guidance.